Psam Psees a Psychic

On a whim, I decided to see a psychic today with a few friends. This was my first official tarot card reading and I came in harboring a healthy dose of skepticism. How can you tell what the future might bring? What could you tell about me that you couldn't glean from observing me and my interactions with my friends? Is this really worth charging me $30 for a 20 minute reading? Rather than allowing myself to totally foreclose on the idea, I decided that I would try it out and let the predictions speak for themselves. For me to be completely satisfied it seems that a 75% success rate would be sufficient. Three out of every four statements, because after all, no one's perfect. I was also looking for a certain amount of specificity in the predictions. Dates, actions, numbers etc. would all lend greater authority to the events that were foreseen, rather than nebulous statements. Also, I was hoping to feel something odd, a sensory experience that would signify the presence of a mysterious power at play, perhaps goosebumps or unexplained changes in air pressure. In any case, before getting to the details of my predictions I thought I would share something of the setting and the journey.

Giovanna has been in business at her downtown location for 15 years, right across from the Eaton's Centre in the heart of Toronto. Now that in and of itself is an impressive achievement, considering the price of rentals in the downtown core and the ever-changing facade of that particular setting. You enter through a narrow stairwell, grey on all sides, leading up to a spacious reception area. Imagine a glow in the dark mini golf course, and you get some sense of the decor. Two huge, and very purple right hands serve as seats in one corner, at right angles to the large storefront windows. They are cupped slightly so when you sit, your butt is cushioned by their palms, almost lovingly. Across the room from these chairs is a circular booth with a low table. On this table are recent issues of Cosmo and People magazine. It is not difficult to grasp the general demographic that frequents this establishment. If you sat in this booth and looked at the far wall, you would see three murals of various celestial bodies, I presume wormholes or galaxies. Gazing at the ceiling, you would observe that there are stars and planets painted haphazardly on a deep blue background. It's like you are in your younger brother's bedroom, if your younger brother was a star-gazing science nerd. Below the murals are glass display cases containing all matter of psychic apparati--crystal balls, tarot cards, and odd figurines. All for sale. Apparently Giovanna is not afraid of competition. The sitting room itself is enclosed by a sliding glass door partition that allows you to see but not hear your friends being future-sighted. It is lit from a table lamp in the middle of the room, casting shadows on the walls in all directions. The walls are red and velvety with various iconography.

Giovanna herself is dressed in a black v-neck shirt and jeans. She greets you pleasantly and exudes a certain warmth. Her raven hair matches her smoky eyes, and well trimmed eyebrows, lending an air of mystique to her bearing, enigmas buried deep within her ebony features. Her voice is rich, but not cheesy. She promises to tell it to you true, no matter your preferences. I wouldn't have it any other way. She asks you to think of two things with utmost sincerity: one question and one wish. I ask about my love life. I wish for a loving family. She repeatedly flips over the tarot cards in an inverse pyramid and tells of things past and things that will soon come to pass...

Predictions:

1. You're in the process of friendship pruning, letting go of old friends, and friends who will soon reveal their "true colours" to you. I shudder inwardly at this negative connotation, wanting to believe that I know those who are close to me, and wanting them to stay friends. You will have a small, close and supportive group of friends, who, to a person, are good and true.

2. She asks if I have any brothers, which I truthfully deny. She reveals that within the next few weeks, someone "like a brother" will come in need of comfort. He will be depressed and out of sorts. I will need to be there. This individual is smart and will be successful. He is worth holding onto.

3. You will receive a check in the mail with a large sum of money before the new year. Something like $2500. This money will be earned legitimately. Numbers and dates, a strong prediction that is easily verified. Who is this mysterious benefactor though? 


4. Your positive energy will peak in the spring of next year. Apparently the dates near your birthday are auspicious. In my case, this peak period is being transferred to spring. You will finish a large project by June 2012. Pretty impressive prediction. She accurately surmised that I was working on a dissertation, and said that originally it was to be finished within the next 8 weeks, all without being foretold. 

5. You will meet someone in April or May 2012. This person may or may not be the one for you. At this point, that is unclear. I will meet someone in the spring who may or may not work out?!? Both excruciatingly frustrating and confidence draining. How about I may or may not pay you?

6. You will travel a lot in the upcoming year, many small weekend trips but also one large trip in July 2012. Well my cousin is getting married on June 24th 2012, this would be a good time to visit Malaysia!

7. You will be married in 4 years. Well that seems a little late. Perhaps there are cougars in my future. There are no divorce cards, you will have a happy and solid relationship. I pity those who get the divorce cards: "you will be happy for two years, after which you will  catch your wife cheating with your best friend. I suggest a prenup." You will have two sons. Sounds good to me.

8. You will make an investment in September 2012 which will be successful. Perhaps with the money from my mystery sugar momma!


9. You will be in "hibernation" this winter, you may date but they will be casual relationships, until the spring 2012. Focus on you. Why can't I just migrate instead? Like to a warm southern location with many beautiful women offering deep satisfying relationships?


Okay Giovanna, let's see how accurate you really are. Maybe next time I can choose which predictions won't come true?

Vampire Diaries

This Halloween I decided to become a vampire. In my mind all that required was a set of face paint, a pair of reusable fangs, and a fair amount of vanity.

So now that I am properly attired and have had my fill of preening, the question becomes, what exactly does a vampire do for fun? Perhaps get in a little trouble with the law.

Or perhaps Brazilian firefighters? She actually refused to let herself get bitten. Without consent, this was as close as I could get. The audacity.

Hmm, feeling a tad thirsty. Where can I get a good drink around here?

Luckily for me, there were an abundance of nurses out that night. In easily accessible uniforms I might add.

Sometimes, its nice to see a familiar face.

It's Friday, what's a bored vampire to do? Let's go to the mall.

Perhaps a little light reading?

Followed by a light snack... 

and some sunscreen...my skin gets a little sensitive sometimes

Well, it's Halloween, gotta get me some candy! But first, my little sis needs to become immortal, so she can annoy me for all time :)

Some might say that I'm a little too old to be trick-or-treating, but I say what's a couple hundred years if you have young blood flowing through your veins!

Happy Halloween!

Tombstone Rhetoric

Morbid title? Yes, I think so, but fits my mood like a pair of jeggings. Let's face it, we're all inevitably dead. It can happen anytime, in any manner, and is infrequently scripted. How many people get to say their goodbyes, tie up their loose ends, end on their own terms? And how many slip sudden and accidental-like into the void? The odds were never in our favor. It follows then, that any moment, any action could be my last. And therefore I have a responsibility to those moments, every drop of life, so that I am remembered as I would want to be, and honored with the best of intentions. For, in life, there is a strong wish to be celebrated and in death this wish does not diminish, perhaps not by me, but by those we entrust with our heart-memoirs. Sorrowed is he that is celebrated as an absence, whose life-actions invited joy at his passing, and not mourning.

What to make of these existential and obvious truths? A kind of wild hope and nervous dread. Tomorrow's uncertainty necessitates a certain moral code. If I live such that each moment, vibrant or mundane, could be the penultimate moment, I would want those moments to be largely righteous, good, or at least neutral. If, to the best of my ability, I spend as much of my life in acceptance, in equanimity, in accordance with my values, then I can worry less about death's timing. My hope is to shift honorable death-odds in my favor. Of course, given the nature of my days, I am quite likely to pass in my sleep or sadly, on the can. At least there is some shred of honor in doing what one must. However, time spent in arguments, angers, jealousies, pettiness, depravity would be playing constantly against the house, because the card-house of life could crumple from the slightest breeze. A showing of hands for those who wish their last moments to be frozen road rage, plotting revenge for a slight, sloven lacklustre, or jealously coveting another's possessions. The greater the rage, the more likely the regret, and the greater the dread.

Not only are the momentary foibles real and motivating, but the total calculus of one's life should be entertained. For, as buddhists are fond of expressing, what is life but a series of moments? The past is forever done, the future yet to come. Adding up a multitude of Presents eventually allows one to divine patterns of a life lived. To put watercolors to paper and form contours, shadings, meanings of an existence. To the extent that a life is bright, vibrant, dripping with saturation, we can say that it was a fulsome and beautiful work of art, worthy of framing and admiring. And as much as a life fell to shadow, to greys and achromaticity, there will be a tiresome, foul, and/or unremarkable portrait. It is in us to choose our color palette.

In psychology there is an exercise meant to distill your values, simply and directly. One is asked "what would you like your tombstone to say?" With the eventual implication that no matter what is said, a life has to be lived in that direction for one's prophecy to bear fruit. I'm going to play this game with some caveats. There should be a word limit, perhaps five sentences. Also, there will be a statement about something I did within the preceding day that I would have been proud to admit. Here goes:

Samuel Siah, 1984-present, died gazing at his beloved

Here lies a man who lived for others
Family and friends were everything
such that no joy was unshared, no despair was lonesome, and no need too burdensome
Immortal shall he remain in the hearts that he touched

It's a worthwhile exercise, I suggest you give it a shot, either here or elsewhere. Happy painting.